There's Something About Yuffie
by The Blearing Phoenix
Summary: Not a oneshot...it's a threepart series actually. Reason I: Why Yuffie and Sephy are only meant to be friends...read if you dare...


**There's Something About Yuffie...**

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**TerrisMoon**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters in this fic, they belong to their respectable owner(s), SQUARE-ENIX.

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_Coffee..._

_Need coffee..._

_NOW..._

Those were all the things that floated in Yuffie's otherwise vacant head. Yes, our main character was a perky and somewhat naive little ninja who didn't just suffer from possible kleptomania but she also loved caffeine. Thus, her reason for going to the café at 5:59 a.m. was rather apparent–she was on a coffee withdrawal. So with her black purse in hand the ninja gaited pass random passerby singing about caffeine and amphetamine. And in record time she pulled the glass door open and reveled in the sound of the small tinkling bell that was attached to the door.

Yuffie was then greeted by the cafe's other regular patrons–Elmyra and her young daughter Aerith who had been nibbling on a huge sugar-injected honey bun. The girl took her regular seat at her regular window where she could divulge in a regular conversation with her regular waitress–a beautiful vivacious woman who went by the name of Tifa or Tiff to some.

"What will it be this time?" Tifa asked as she got out her memo pad and took her pen out from her small pocket.

"Gimme' a caffeine shot, tons of crack and tons of white liquid please," Yuffie spewed out with a wacky look in her dark brown eyes. And, for any person who didn't happen to know what she meant, her order was 'diner speak' for:

"Gimme' a mug of coffee, tons of sugar and tons of cream please"

"Gotcha," Tifa winked and went back to the kitchen behind the retro diner's counter.

But, Yuffie who was such a regular at the small café had picked up the odd language from a confidante of hers–Cid Highwind who indulged in drinking coffee so much that he'd won a Coffee-Drinking Contest once.

ANYWAY, back to the point at hand. It JUST so happened that at that precise moment a random person walked into the café; Yuffie, who hadn't been paying any attention accidentally stuck her foot out and tripped the random person.

**Accidentally our arses...**

Ahem, right then...

"Oof."

"Oopsies, mister"

"..."

"Do ya want any help gettin' up, hmmmmm?"

"No, I'm quite fine, thank you." With that the arrogant snotty-ass bastard flipped his shiny and rather tame white tendrils to the side, making sure it brushed against Yuffie's flushed cheeks. He flamboyantly seated himself at HER regular booth and stared at a particular stain on the tabletop with mild interest.

"Well, hiya then. My name is Yuffie, what's your name? Wait, don't tell me lemme guess you're the GREAT General Sephy-poo right, right, hmm, hmm, huh?" A cute giggle was all that was needed to tip the poor serious general off. Yuffie hadn't even received her daily does of caffeine and already she was acting like a six-year-old...

It was really because she was so nervous around the handsome man.

"Don't call me that you incompetent fool"

"Riiiight, well I haven't seen you in this café before mister, are you passin' through after killin' people? Is it your break, wait do generals normally have breaks, because I don't think they normally would. Would they? Would you know? Wait, you should know you're a general. So, do ya,hmm?"

A vein was throbbing and pulsing ever so slightly in Sephiroth's head.

Tifa had just set down the saucer complete with a matching cup filled with intoxicating caffeine on their table, she stopped to watch the odd encounter.

"Shut...up"

"Okay"

The man swiftly pivoted, took one quick look at the place, decided it wasn't up to his snooty standards, and left..

"Gosh, who shoved a pole up his ass...," Yuffie muttered to herself, she decided that she wasn't in the mood for coffee. 'Sides, all she wanted to know was if he was on break and what his name was.

**FIN**

**A/N:** Tis' why Yuffie and Sephy pairings should never happen. Dedicated to Lin-Hikaru-7. I know the 'café meeting' idea was used by her but I modified my own slightly. Sorry, if it seems very similar. Read, review, and comment please as it would be highly appreciated if you did.WARNING: Yuffie bashing...major Yuffie bashing...

Just thought I'd let the Yuffie fans know that this fic is sadly not intended for you...

Thank you.

TerrisMoon


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